Crying
by Ruusukainen
Summary: They would've done anything just to bring him back. RM


**A/N -** This is just something that came up. The lyrics are by Simple Plan and the song is called_ Welcome To My Life_.

**Summary -** They would've done anything just to bring him back.

**Disclaimer –** I don't own anything.

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**Crying **

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_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it´s like  
To be like me_

The church's bells echoed in the sunny cemetery. There would be once again some innocent victim buried who had done nothing wrong. Still this victim died. The Newpsies would most likely forget this day quickly but it would be in the hearts of others forever. In good and bad.

People kept walking inside, hugging and shaking hands. These people didn't feel at all like they were in the the right place. Who would want to bury a man who they loved so much that it hurt? The relatives would have preferred to cancel the whole funeral, if they could've. They would've done anything just to bring him back. But usually those impossible things are the most difficult to accomplish.

A beautiful black dress swaying in the wind, as Marissa Cooper stared at the chruch. The sight made her almost feel sick. She had felt sick for almost her entire life, but now it was about to be seen from the outside. Still her face was free of tears and she looked peaceful for the first time in days.

Marissa stepped inside and hugged Kirsten and Sandy, who stood beside the door, looking tired. She quietly chanced a few words with them and she had to swallow tears as she did so. She looked around in the church and was amazed about the mass of people. The subject of this funeral had touched deep into a lot of people during the time, that he had spent with them. Marissa looked at Ryan, whose smiling photo was on the table.

Marissa found a seat next to Seth. She stared at him for a while before pulling him into a hug. She wondered how they had become friends through Summer and Ryan, and how one of them was now dead. But to think of it, the friendship was still there.

She looked sideways at Seth's parents, who now mourned after the boy, who they had still learned new things about every day.

Marissa sat down and looked ahead. She was almost scared when she didn't feel at all depressed by what she saw. She thought it was extremely beautiful.

Light brown, wooded coffin. White roses above it. Burning candles on both sides. Ryan Atwood in his black suit in the center of all the beauty.

Marissa tried to imagine Ryan in the coffin. She remembered that smile that she hardly ever got and placed it on his peaceful face. She thought about his hands that were set on his stomach and their touch on her skin. She remember Ryan's beautiful eyes and added them to the image. The result was her Ryan. A boy, who calmed everyone with his peaceful personality. Ryan had been that till his last moment and that was something she would miss the most.

Marissa sat paralyzed on the church's pench and looked back on a moment, when she spend her last moment with her beloved friend.

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_Marissa slowly opened her eyes as she woke back to reality. The smell of smoke made it's way to her nose so she had to pull a hand on her mouth and cough._

_Then she remembered._

_Slowly he turned his head and saw Ryan. Unconscious Ryan. Marissa let out a scream from her heart and jerked herself out of the car. He walked around it and knelt in front of the driver site's broken window._

_''Ryan?'' she whispered and waited for a response. She was too scared to try his pulse, so she carefully started to pull Ryan out of the car._

_She took a hold from under his arms and pulled him down the street as far a way from the car as possible. She didn't even know why she did so. Finally she became too tired and and let herself lie down in the ground besides Ryan. She kept repeating his name and wished for him to wake up. They both lay on their sides, the other just slightly more alert than the other._

_Marissa saw how Ryan's eyes opened slowly. He looked at her right away and smiled happily._

_Marissa just stared and smiled back. She put her hand on his chest and felt his pulse._

_Marissa stared at those sparkling eyes for a long time. She didn't want to look away, but Ryan's eyes started to close. Marissa felt how his chest didn't rise anymore._

_At that moment she just hoped that she could still look into those eyes that were so full of life._

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Marissa looked how the men lowered the coffin under ground. Every moment got her more depressed, but she hid it from the others. She wrapped her coat more tighter around herself and wished for the other ones to disappear.

And that's what happened during the next hour.

Finally Marissa fell down in front of the flowers and cried. She cried from her soul and for all those things that she hadn't cried before.

And there was no one else in the cemetery. Not one, who could've hugged her and make her lonely heart feel safe again.

That person now layed peacefully under ground.

_To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left you in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you´ve been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it´s like  
Welcome to my life_

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End file.
